From the other day bc I've been moving non stop with Kyle

HELLO. IT'S ME.

It's normal to not be excited to turn 30. 

     It's approaching. The day is almost here.  Would I want to turn back time and jump back to being 18, 19, 20, 21...and so on? The answer would be simple if I had a choice of a few conditions.  I'd go back to my late teen years if I could go back as the me I am right now; my life now but I'd just be younger.  Nothing but my age would change.  I'd have the same job as a teacher assistant, I'd be with Kyle, I'd live in Los Angeles, I would already have my bachelor's degree.  Literally everything but my age would change.  

     Another question pops up.  WHY am I SO CONCERNED with the fact that I'll be 30? 30 years of life.  Growing up is supposed to be something to look forward to, with somewhat of an aspiration complex.  I should not be so outraged by the large number. I think this might have something to do with the fact that in the past, I have attached some expectations to that number.  If you asked me at 20, what I think my future would hold, I would have probably said that I'd like to be happy, married, have a couple kids, and a house.  I am happy, I have an amazing loving boyfriend but we aren't married yet, do not own a house, and definitely do not have any kids.  I work with kids, but do not have any of my own.  One day, Kyle and I would like to start a family.  We always talk about it and fantasize about our little family.
     I just talked with Kyle about my issues with turning 30 and my expectations.  He made a good point.  Would I have been ready to move/get married/have kids when I was 23-29? No. The answer is no.  How was I supposed to know when I met Kyle? Who was I to know/predict that I'd meet someone special that I'd want to spend the rest of my life with? How was I supposed to predict/call that by a certain age? Some people focus their time and energy on impressing other people instead of tuning in to what is right for them.  I'm not one of those people. I have these basic thoughts about how I'd imagine my life to be by 30, but the truth is, everyone is different and fate is real.  Tuning into your own feelings, and doing what is right for you is the best thing that you can do for yourself and for your life. The thoughts that plague my mind about turning 30 isn't real. The thoughts hang low in my mind and drip on the good that is happening in my mind. It's up to me to accept those thoughts or reject them. That's all they are.
     Life is a journey. I am the person in charge of how I accept the waters ahead, because those parts are unknown. 

Iife is crazy

Life has a funny way of working itself out. It's strange to think about what I've done so far in my life and who I've met and learned from, where I have been, and what I used to be like. I can't even put this feeling into words because it is so strange and it probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me. I can only say, I am very excited to see what my future has in store. 

VIDEO DISCLAIMER and Year in Review

Hello,
Most of you know how much I love making videos for you guys and for myself. I am forever grateful for the incredible opportunity to be able to call making YouTube videos my job.   Growing up, I was always told to do what you love and if you get paid for it than you would be living the dream. Okay, the reason why I am writing this is to be open with you. I am kind of indifferent of writing this post. The reason why I started making videos is because I am able to express myself in a way that does not require a complete answer.  In school I always disliked the fact that science and math required one correct answer.  Coming up with one final answer seems slightly narrow minded; which therefore attracted me to the endless opportunities of art, drama, and entertainment. Anyways, getting back to YouTube and my presence online, I must say that I am STILL making YouTube videos for your viewing pleasure.  I've been on YouTube since 2009 and began making videos. Back then YouTube and its audience were new to each other and basically everything was good and dandy in the YouTube community.  Fast forward to 2013, and YouTube has been born again. The motion of the YouTube community has become very rigorous and unkind. I am not too extravagant with the way I shoot or edit my videos. To my surprise, this issue of lack of editing skills or professional camera equipment has become a problem for some of my viewers. I just want to thank my viewers that have stuck with me since the beginning. I am doing the best I can with my videos and I know that there will be people out there that will dislike me for reasons that I cannot change or help. I am not writing this for sympathy. I am writing this to display my thoughts and feelings concerning my videos and why I make them. I have gone through major changes this year. In 2013 I spent the new year without my twin sister [we had always been together on new years in years prior], spent a week in Florida with my mom and grandpa, moved to LA, have a boyfriend, been in two music videos and been on the Today show[well, my photo twas on the Today show] went to several YouTube conventions, met subscribers, gone to fashion events, hotel parties, and have made several good friends in LA.  Overall, 2013 has been life-changing.  I cannot wait to see what the next year brings! Thanks for joining me and my adventures! Hope your life is going well! Count your blessings.<3 p="">xo,
J

Don't ever take yourself too seriously

What's the point of being so serious all of the time? Maintaining a serious nature would be extremely draining and life is supposed to be fun! What kind of life would you rather live? One that is spent having fun, doing things that you enjoy, experiencing life, taking risks, dealing with consequences, or one that is lived by the rules and to please other people? The second choice is a life that that is lived halfway.  Living halfway is living life for other people. Why would you waste your time caring about how others think you should live your life? Why do you need to listen to how strangers think you should behave, what you should wear, or what to say? Why do give strangers' opinions of you more value than your  own opinion of yourself? Live life for you. You are the only one in control of your life! No one else!  Don't let the voice of strangers get in your way and hold you back from being the best you-you can be! Without further adieu, here is my quick costume video!

general questions about life.

 general questions about life.

no.1 "LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT"

what does luck be a lady even transcend? why should luck be a lady? what is a lady? be a lady. these words sung in the sinatra song swim in my mind and i jump feet first into a pool of confusion. why must luck be on your side like a lady on your arm? tonight? what's going on tonight?

 I have general questions/concerns about life.

More posts soon.

shift

together. two. all of my life i have grown up thinking that im a part of something. i am a apart of something. i am a twin. i am her half. i am not sure who i am without her. when im without her i have a hard time figuring out who i am. i am still trying to figure out this game of life. i dont know how to correctly be.  i exist in my mind. out of my mind i feel idle. i am not sure who i am. i try to speak out but am unable to say anything. im trying.

help save a life. just watch this. pass this on.

headaches run my life

waking up doing the same old

routine

who am i?

where am i going?

working hard to feel better

resting to gain consiousness

i'll be myself soon

up in the clouds

prancing on perfect cotton

this is all i want to feel

happiness is kicking in

sorrow isn't an option

i want to go forward in this life

never backward

those moments are called mistakes

they're stepping stones en route to

growing up

maturation

it's my plan to get what i want

i'm constricted in previous happy times

i want to re-create them

i musn't fall behind

to the future i will climb

fave pic of Morts:

it's up to me

to get that bronze w/o my energy saving light shining on me.
to make things happen.

to get things started.

to be happy.

to go to school.

to make money.

to be somebody.

to get somewhere.

to get up and live.

let's say hello to disocovery

this day is brand new

even though it's 10:42am, it's a new set of accumulated seconds

of today

right now you can regain and reclaim your life

and mold it into whatever you as the artist

create

today is going to be enjoyed

it's a second chance to be something

you can make a difference in someone's life

inspire someone with your laugh

your smile

pay them a compliment

suprise yourself and change your glass half empty

attitude and decorate it with candy covered niceness

you'll have a better day TODAY